Category Archives: Biblical Counseling

The Pursuit of Happiness May Not Be Going Well

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unhappyAmerica has become a test case for the unbridled pursuit of happiness. Our culture places the individual – with his or her dreams, desires, wants, and needs – at the center where other cultures and times have placed family, religion, or community. But in our place and at our time it is the individual and his or her happiness which is supreme.

Selfishness and self-indulgence used to be vices; self-denial and sacrifice were virtues. Today it has been reversed. The greatest sin is to deny oneself; to not embrace what may potentially bring happiness and self-fulfillment. The good, moral person is the self-seeker who refuses to be held back or burdened in the pursuit of their desires. The new saints have climbed to the top of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and donned the crown of self-actualization.

Thus, everything has become a means to the end of personal happiness and fulfillment. If children make you happy, have some; if they get in the way of your dreams then terminate the pregnancy. If a career makes you happy, chase it; if it gets in the way of your desires then go back to school. If marriage makes you happy, commit to it; if it gets in the way of your plans then divorce your spouse. If church makes you happy, attend it; if it interferes with your lifestyle then switch congregations. If a consumer product makes you happy, buy it; if something better comes along trash it.

The individual and their happiness is the center of American culture. In theory, this should produce a flourishing society full of happy people. But there may be problems with our happiness project. Our society is increasingly tasked with helping people cope with their “happy” lives. Ronald Dworkin points out in a 2010 Policy Review essay that the United States has seen a hundredfold increase in the number of professional caregivers since 1950. We have 77,000 clinical psychologists, 192,000 clinical social workers, 105,000 mental health counselors, 50,000 marriage and family therapists, 17,000 nurse psychotherapists, 30,000 life coaches, and hundreds of thousands of nonclinical social workers and substance abuse counselors as well. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, anti-depressant use among Americans increased 400% between 1994 and 2005.

The latest piece of news is also troubling. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and reported by CNN, for the first time in history more people died in 2010 from suicide than from car accidents. There were 33,687 deaths from motor vehicle crashes and 38,364 suicides. The suicide rate rose 30% from 1999 to 2010 for Americans ages 35-64 with the rate rising nearly 50% for men in their 50’s. According to Julie Philips, an associate professor of sociology at Rutgers University who has published research on rising suicide rates, the current numbers are, if anything, too low. She says suicide is “vastly underreported…we know we’re not counting all suicides.”

The causes of suicide are complex and my purpose is not to attribute it to any particular factor or give it any singular explanation. However, increasing suicide rates and demands for caregivers and psychotropic drugs do give hints that there is trouble.

Something is broken in the American pursuit of happiness. Something all the technology making life easy and all the entertainment streaming at us cannot seem to fix.

Yet in the Christian worldview, happiness and fulfillment are not goals we aim for but effects found while aiming after greater goals. Those goals include love for God and love for others (Matt.22:37-39). Chasing these goals demands self-denial, sacrifice, and letting go of our individual desires for something greater. Blaise Pascal said it well:

“There once was in man a true happiness of which now remain to him only the mark and empty trace, which he in vain tries to fill from all his surroundings, seeking from things absent the help he does not obtain in things present. But these are all inadequate, because the infinite abyss can only be filled by an infinite and immutable object, that is to say, only by God Himself.”

This is not a trite “get God and be happy” answer. Many have “gotten” God only to turn Him into yet another means for their selfish pursuit of happiness. It is the difficult truth that only in surrendering our lives to something other than individual fulfillment will we ever find happiness.

There are signs that something is broken in the American pursuit of happiness. There are hints that its culture idolizing the individual and his or her fulfillment may be poisonous. The road looks promising, but its end is only destruction.

-Brian

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Does USA’s “Characters Unite” Really Divide?

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charactersunite01aCharacters Unite is the USA Network’s

“award-winning public service program, [and] was created to address the social injustices and cultural divides still prevalent in our society. Inspired by USA Network’s iconic “Characters Welcome” brand and with the support of leading national nonprofit organizations, the ongoing campaign is dedicated to supporting activities and messaging that combat prejudice and intolerance while promoting understanding and acceptance…”

This annual campaign features actors, athletes, and activists pleading passionately to viewers to stand up against bullying, racism, homophobia, ableism (discrimination against the disabled), violence, workplace discrimination, religious intolerance, sexism, hate, and bigotry. The campaign is driven by the Characters Unite Awards show, the storytelling tour, and a steady flow of public service announcements. Its partners include the American Association of People with Disabilities, the Anti-Defamation League, the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Discrimination, the Human Rights Campaign, the NAACP, La Raza, the National Education Association, the General Board of the United Methodist Church, the Southern Poverty Law Center, and more.

While watching the documentaries and impassioned speeches, it is almost impossible not to be swept up into the promise. Just imagine – a world where everyone accepts everyone. No one is mistreated. No one is discriminated against. No one lives in fear or shame. We are all free to pursue our dreams to the fullest. It is a compelling picture.

Characters Unite accomplishes some good ends. Any child helped through bullying, any minority spared the sting of racism, and any homosexual delivered from abuse is good. Yet when the PSAs come to an end, the awards have been handed out, and the tour packs up and heads home, will there be any lasting change? Call me cynical, a pessimist, or a hater, but I’m not so sure. Let me point out some potential problems.

First, this sort of initiative is just the kind of thing our culture loves – lofty goals with little commitment. We love texting donations into celebrity telethons from our armchair and hauling off clothes we never wear to thrift stores. In Characters Unite, almost nothing is asked of the viewer aside from looking down on those who fit into the undefined categories of intolerant, bigot, sexist, bully, etc. We don’t have to change anything about our lives or ourselves, we simply have to demand others change. Because I don’t have to reckon with my own apathy, sins and character, any change will be superficial.

Second, Characters Unite has no foundational truth. How do you determine if someone is being sexist, homophobic, bigoted, or discriminatory? Because these concepts are not defined the viewer is free to label as he or she pleases. Discrimination occurs when elementary schools refuse to hire sex offenders; should we stand against that? If I take a stand against homophobia does that mean I become intolerant of religions that support traditional marriage? Is a 16 year old girl prejudiced if using the bathroom with a transgendered boy makes her uncomfortable? If –as one PSA declares – we should all be free to love whoever we want, does that include a 40 year old man and a 14 year old boy? Or if – as another PSA declares – everyone should be free to believe what they want, does that include sacrificing one’s child to the gods? Because Characters Unite lacks any transcendent truth, it cannot define its own terms or judge conflicting claims.

standupThird, Characters Unite promotes self-righteousness. Each PSA makes it clear that everyone on the screen and watching the screen are righteous – tolerant, fair, loving, accepting, and peaceful. Attractive young people complain about the hate and bigotry of others declaring, “How do people hate so much they can hurt someone, or insult someone’s beliefs, or tell someone what they can do, or who they should love?” The problem is out there, with other people, not with us. The world is divided into the moral – the tolerant, non-judgmental, and accepting – and the immoral – the intolerant, judgmental, and discriminating. Thus, the “righteous” are free to stand against, look down on, dislike, hate, and discriminate against the “unrighteous.” All a good Pharisee needs now is a stone to throw at those who violate society’s new morals.

Could there be a less divisive way to unite us and deal with the hurt and suffering we cause? It begins not with indignation on our couches but a willingness to get off the couch and love other people. Jesus said in Matthew 22:39, “you shall love your neighbor as yourself.” That means paying the bills of the disabled, mentoring the victim of a bully, or extending friendship to the hated. But Jesus also said in Matthew 5:44, “… I say to you, love your enemies…”  That means befriending the intolerant, serving the bigot, and understanding the potentially painful past that created a bully.

It begins not with everyone deciding for themselves what is tolerant and intolerant, accepting and judgmental, right and wrong, but with transcendent truth. Isaiah 59:14 says, “Justice is turned back, and righteousness stands far away; for truth has stumbled in the public squares.” With no fixed source of truth we cannot agree on what is good or bad. So we seek justice based on our own fickle feelings and changing culture. One group grabs justice for itself at the expense of another.  We need truth greater than feelings to give us direction and justice.

It begins not by putting ourselves on a moral pedestal and demanding everyone else shape up, but by realizing the depths of our own sin. Jesus said in Matthew 7:5, “You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” Only when we confront our own hatred, prejudice, pride, envy, jealousy, intolerance, and bigotry will there be change. We will be able to extend mercy and grace to others instead of extending our own accusatory judgments.

I hope Characters Unite makes a positive difference in our increasingly divided and hostile world. But true change will only come when we work to love both the offended and the offender, are guided by truth, and confront the sin in our own hearts. Only then will we be able to join hands and create a better world.

-Brian

Disclaimer: My favorite part of Characters Unite is the push for adoption and foster child care. This does demand more of the viewer and is a very important, but unfortunately, somewhat small part of Characters Unite. Also, this article is based on the Public Service Announcements on the USA Network and the corresponding website, not on the awards show or storytelling tour – in other words, based on the part that will effect the most people.

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Raise Your White Facebook Flag

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facebooklike1Facebook makes the world go round. We can reconnect with old buddies, advertise our businesses, declare our love and dialogue about (mostly) important issues. Years ago, the initial concern for this new and non-private world of constant connection was exposure to and sharing of the indecent; it was enough for parents to forbid children from opening user accounts. Surprisingly, Facebook remains committed to monitoring traffic, removing any illicit content and deleting false profiles. Users can report anything they deem inappropriate or untrue and Facebook will remove the user entirely if needed. It seems a safe and fun place to browse.

Slowly and quietly, Facebook has proven dangerous territory for the heart. In the wake of the Facebook sensation, a few unforeseen effects have cropped up: envy, jealousy and resentment. Fox News reported on a recent study that confirms the most avid Facebook users are among the loneliest and unhappiest individuals.  Their article states, “In a world already flooded with social pressures where teenagers and young adults are attempting to find their true identity and not be judged, Facebook has created a new standard of social acceptance.”

Research uncovered envy and resentment peaked among users while looking at vacation photos or posts related to family happiness. For women in their 30’s and 40’s, jealousy was experienced most commonly when viewing photos of other women who were more attractive and had more “likes” and comments on their photos. On a user’s birthday, those with high numbers of wishes and comments had a healthier state of mind than those with low numbers. A German study published in December 2012 found the more time college students spent on Facebook, the worse they felt about their own lives. Even my local news channel reported last week on the “Facebook Fatigue” felt worldwide.

Facebook has shifted from a place to connect with people to the socially acceptable, seemingly less pretentious way of saying to the world, “Look at me!” It’s a hub to flaunt wealth, prosperity, success, and status and it is slowly eating away at the hearts and minds of our “friends.” As Christians and Facebook users, we must wrestle with this question: What are our motives for both viewing and posting content on Facebook?

Consider Jesus’ interaction with Peter.  After His resurrection, Jesus conversed with Peter and revealed how his death would one day glorify God. Immediately after, Peter saw another disciple, John, and asked Jesus, “What about this man?” as if to say, “What about his death? How do your plans for him compare to mine?” Jesus replied, “If it is my will he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!”(John 21:20-22) Peter was caught in the snare of compare and Jesus rebuked him. It was none of Peter’s business what God had in store for John. The information could have distracted Peter, made him jealous or caused him to doubt God’s goodness. Little good is accomplished when we dwell on the details of someone else’s life.

If that’s true, are we bringing good to our friends and neighbors in belaboring for them every detail of what we’re doing, day in day out? Not only has Facebook become a showcase for the world to gaze upon our awesomeness, but also a chance to join us in our suffering as we declare our hardships, trials and misfortunes. In both cases, it’s attention we want.

Paul exhorted Timothy to pray that Christians would lead peaceful, quiet lives (1 Tim. 2:2), as to not draw attention to themselves. The prophet Jeremiah spoke these words:

“Thus says the Lord, ‘Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me…’” – Jeremiah 9:23-24

Basically, if you have brains, power, success, money and blessing, don’t brag about it (talk about it, post about it, Instagram it). We are called to brag on the One who gave us those things.

We might be tempted to say, “I’m not responsible for how someone responds to what I post. That’s their issue.” Not entirely. In everything we do, we are to look out for the interests of others (Phil. 2:4). Paul taught that while we have freedom in Christ, we are to “decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother (Romans 14:13).”  Broadcasting our lives can be a stumbling block to others, stirring bitterness, envy, resentment, jealousy, sadness or strife. Some still say, “But people want to see these pictures and know these things.” Is it possible we want people to want to see and know these things?

Maybe you’re oblivious to this Facebook debacle and have zero underlying motives. What then? Wisdom. In knowing we are called to glorify God and not ourselves, are our posts and pictures wise, necessary, helpful and a true blessing to those viewing them?

When you log on, what are you seeking to do? Daydream about another life? Keep up on all the drama? Trying to catch someone not including you? Lamenting over vacations you aren’t going on or things you don’t own?

When you post, what are your true motives? Are you hoping for lots of “likes” and comments? Are you trying to one-up somebody? Do you want everyone to know you’re with these people and they aren’t? Looking for attendees to your pity party? Reminding everyone how cute and talented and smart your kids are? Wanting widespread sympathy? Making sure old classmates see you aren’t battling the bulge?

Only our Creator Judge knows the roots and motivations of our Facebook activity. Don’t be afraid to search them out and amend your habits if necessary. The rest of Jeremiah 9:24 says this:

 “…but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the Lord.”

God has called us to make people glad in Him, not intimidated by us, focused on us or disappointed in themselves. Let us raise our white flags and surrender the mighty Facebook battle for attention and instead seek to love each other well by exercising wisdom we post. Consider reclaiming some of what Facebook has taken: the sweet intimacy of sharing your great victories and difficult struggles with your closest friends (offline) and looking to Christ for all acceptance and comfort.

Does this mean we should only post Bible verses and Piper quotes? No. Does it mean we never post personal things? Not at all. Does it mean we have to “like” or repost the I Love Jesus and I Don’t Care Who Knows It picture? Of course not. It simply means we become thoughtful and intentional with every post and picture, knowing we represent the God of the universe who seeks to draw all to Himself. Hopefully, it will start with me.

-Emily

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The Undeniable Ugliness of Human Nature

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In Joseph Conrad’s classic novel The Heart of Darkness, Marlow, a steamship captain, journeys up the Congo River at the end of the 19th century to bring home the sick and dying Mr. Kurtz. Kurtz is a station chief renowned for his command of language, his intelligence, and his ability to generate large quantities of ivory. Yet when Marlow pulls his boat up to Kurtz’ residence, he is shocked to find the yard decorated with severed human heads on poles. Marlow observes:

…there was nothing exactly profitable in these heads being there. They only showed that Mr. Kurtz lacked restraint in the gratification of his various lusts, that there was something wanting in him – some small matter which, when the pressing need arose could not be found under his magnificent eloquence. Whether he knew of this deficiency himself I can’t say.

The lawless jungle had taken a civilized man and turned him into a brutal savage. Conrad sharpens the picture when Marlow goes to visit Kurtz’ fiancé after he dies. In the midst of her grief, she says, “…of all his promise and of all his greatness, of his generous mind, of his noble heart, nothing remains – nothing but a memory.” And again she says, “Men looked up to him – his goodness shone in every act.”

Classic literature digs deep into human nature including its often brutal ugliness – something lacking in many present-day novels. Whether it’s Melville’s Moby Dick, Golding’s Lord of the Flies, or Stevenson’s The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, many of those who wrote in the past were well acquainted with the ugliness of human nature when the restraints of law and society were removed.

Conrad’s Heart of Darkness is a small piece of a much larger tragedy. When the Congo was taken by King Leopold II of Belgium as a colony in 1885 he grabbed as much profit as he could in the form of ivory and rubber. The Europeans who went there found no restraint – governmental, social, or religious – to their behavior in gathering ever greater profits. Murder, starvation, disease, and a plummeting birth rate combined to cut the native population of the Congo in half in just 23 years. The good, noble, civilized men – like Kurtz – were responsible for the deaths of over 10 million.

The story of Ilanga – one woman who experienced the brutality personally – will illustrate its ugliness. Her village was busy with crops when soldiers came and pulled them from their fields and homes. She reports:

When we were all collected the soldiers brought baskets of food for us to carry, in some of which was smoked human flesh… We then set off marching very quickly. My sister Katinga had her baby in her arms and was not compelled to carry a basket; but my husband Oleka was made to carry a goat. We marched… each day until the fifth day when the soldiers took my sister’s baby and threw it in the grass, leaving it to die, and made her carry some cooking pots. On the sixth day we became very weak from lack of food… and my husband, who marched behind us with the goat, could not stand up longer, and so he sat down beside the path and refused to walk more. The soldiers beat him… Then one of them struck him on the head with the end of his gun, and he fell upon the ground. One of the soldiers caught the goat while two or three others stuck the long knives they put on the end of their guns into my husband. I saw the blood spurt out, and then saw him no more… Many of the young men were killed the same way, and many babies thrown into the grass to die.

These events in the Congo vividly display the depravity of human nature. Yet though they are not even a hundred years old they are nearly forgotten. We have moved on to the depravity of the latest pop star and convinced ourselves we aren’t so bad.  Yet 10 million killed in the Congo, eight-hundred thousand dead in the 1994 Rwandan genocide, Holocaust under Nazi Germany, present day killings in the Sudan and Syria, and the empty eyes of millions of children sold into sexual slavery remind us there is something ugly in human nature. Laws restrain it, society pressures it, religion commands it, yet it remains.

We may protest, “Not me! I wouldn’t do those things!” Can we be so sure? It’s easy to believe in our goodness from the comfort of a suburban American living room. But what if we experienced real horrors in our life? What if the restraints on our various lusts and desires were suddenly removed?

Wrestling with his wicked deeds as he floated down the Congo River, Mr. Kurtz offered a final assessment with his dying words – “The horror, the horror!” If we were to be confronted with the sum total of all of our sin and its horrifying consequences our assessment may not be much different. All of us have inherited a corrupted and sinful human nature. Wayne Grudem writes:

This inherited tendency to sin does not mean that human beings are all as bad as they could be. The constraints of civil law, the expectations of family and society, and the conviction of human conscience all provide restraining influences on the sinful tendencies in our hearts. Therefore, by God’s common grace, people have been able to do much good… But in spite of the ability to do good in many senses of that word, our inherited corruption… which we inherited from Adam means, that as far as God is concerned we are not able to do anything that pleases him… every part of our being is affected by sin – our intellects, our emotions and desires, our hearts, our goals and motives, and even our physical bodies.

When surveying the havoc wrought by his own sin, the Apostle Paul exclaimed in Romans 7:24, “Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?” He looked into his own heart and was left with despair. Yet he goes on to write: “Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!” Jesus Christ was the one who could deliver him from the ugliness of human nature he saw within himself. Only Jesus can repair the corruption of the human heart.

Our hope isn’t found in a 6 step plan to be better people. It isn’t found in small lifestyle changes. It isn’t found in learning from the consequences of our actions. It isn’t found in progressively better laws with a big enough police force to enforce them. It isn’t found in foolishly patting ourselves on the back for being better than Hitler, the guy on the sex offender registry, or that crazy uncle on his fourth marriage.

The only hope for the ugliness of human nature is a Savior.

-Brian

Information on the events in the Congo including Ilanga’s story comes from: Hochschild, Adam, King Leopold’s Ghost: A Story of Greed, Terror, and Heroism in Colonial Africa. Houghton Mifflin, 1999.

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We Aren’t Good People

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Are people good or bad?

Or to put the question another way, are people basically good and righteous or basically sinful and morally corrupt?

I used to walk around the neighborhoods surrounding my church in downtown Raleigh, North Carolina and ask that question. The homes were filled with an intriguing mix of atheists, agnostics, Protestants, Catholics, young and old, conservative and liberal. It didn’t matter. Everyone from the Presbyterian woman who claimed to believe in both predestination and reincarnation to the agnostic mother watching her child play on the porch agreed we are basically good. Except for Hitler. And maybe terrorists.

We tend to believe everyone is basically good because then our shortcomings aren’t so bad. There is a world of difference between a good person who occasionally does bad things and a bad person who occasionally does good things. One just needs some tweaking – perhaps a little more instruction, self-esteem, and a healthy environment. The other needs a radical change at the core of their being. It’s easier to modify one’s behavior than to change the nature of one’s being.

We tend to underestimate the number of bad people in the world. The fewer bad people reduces the chance we might be one of those bad people. If the world is more evenly divided between good and bad we might end up on the wrong side of the divide. Better that we’re all basically good except a few obvious examples like mass murderers, child molesters, and politicians who cheat on their spouses.

We minimize our moral failures and exalt our moral victories. I may have cheated on my taxes but I gave thirty dollars to Relay for Life. I may be harsh with my children but I drive a planet-saving Toyota Prius. We constantly compare our “goodness” to others in such a way that we come out on top: I may have cheated on my spouse but at least I’m not on drugs. I may be on drugs but at least I haven’t killed anyone. I may have killed someone but at least I’m not a genocidal maniac. I may be a genocidal maniac but at least I’ve been faithful to my spouse.

What would happen if we removed all the restraints on our bad behavior? What if I wouldn’t go to jail for killing my enemy? What if there were no social or relational consequences to cheating on my spouse? What if my lies would never be uncovered? Would we spare the person who wronged us, stay faithful to our spouse, and tell the truth?

What if our goodness is only selfishness? As much as I want to kill someone, I love myself too much to bear the condemnation of society and friends. As much as I want sex with someone who is not my spouse, I love myself too much to endure a bitter divorce and custody battle.

This is what Jesus is getting at in the Sermon on the Mount. He says in Matthew 5:21-22:

You have heard that it was said to our ancestors, ‘Do not murder,’ and whoever murders will be subject to judgment. But I tell you, everyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment.

And again in Matthew 5:27-28:

You have heard that is was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you, everyone who looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

This is profound. If our hate could have its way we would be murderers. If our lust could have its way we would be adulterers. If our pride could have its way we would be oppressors. If our greed could have its way we would be enslavers. If our envy could have its way we would be thieves.

And why can’t these things have their way? The laws of our land prohibit them. Social pressure keeps them at bay. We don’t want to lose our freedom in jail. We don’t want to be a social outcast and end up on the sex offender registry. We don’t want to lose our jobs. We don’t want to disappoint our family and friends. So we shelve our hate, lust, pride, greed, and envy and pat ourselves on the back for being good people for purely selfish reasons. Jesus refuses to give us any moral points for our wicked hearts being restrained by circumstances.

The Apostle Paul makes this point in Romans 3:10-12:

There is no one righteous, not even one. There is no one who understands; there is no one who seeks God. All have turned away; all alike have become useless. There is no one who does what is good, not even one.

Stunning isn’t it? No one does good. No one seeks God. We are not good people who occasionally mess up, we are bad people in need of a radical change. This is the foundation of the gospel. If we are good people, we only need the latest twelve step plan to fix our lives. If we are bad people, we need a Savior.

Does this mean we would all be Hitler if given the same background and opportunities as he had? Not necessarily. But it does mean we might not be Mother Teresa either. Don’t be fooled by the illusion of your own goodness. Our sinfulness is far deeper than our circumstances reveal and our need for a Savior is far greater than we imagine.

Brian

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Cheating on the Rise: Why We Cheat and Who’s to Blame

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ImageAt Stuyvesant High School – New York City’s most elite – an astounding 71 students will have to retake their Regents exam after cheating. The scandal centered on 16-year-old Nayeem Ahsan who used a cell phone to send out photos of the exam. Ahsan, along with five other students, has been suspended.

This follows on the heels of other prominent cheating scandals. Twenty students were caught in a cheating scandal at Great Neck North High School in late 2011 when they attempted to pay others to take the SAT for them. Several arrests were made in the scandal since test-takers received between $500 and $3600 to fraudulently bubble in the answers.

The stats on cheating can be discouraging. The Benenson Strategy Group surveyed 7th-12th graders in 2009 and found that 35% admitted to cheating by cell phone during a test and 52% admitted to some form of cheating using the internet. Out of 12,000 high schoolers surveyed by the Josephson Institute of Ethics, a whopping 74% admitted to cheating on an exam at some point in the past year to get ahead. According to National Public Radio, two-thirds of parents believe cheating is no big deal and that all students do it at some point.

Even educators are joining in. In Atlanta, a state investigation discovered 178 teachers and principals had tampered with tests over the past decade to improve their school’s performance.

New Yorkers were quick to weigh in on the cheating at Stuyvesant. Some argued it was a result of the pressure students feel because of testing. Others blamed an uneven application of a cell phone ban. Many attempted to exonerate the students by comparing their behavior to that found on Wall Street. Still, others felt it was an indictment of the education system which has failed to properly teach the students.

Last year the New York Times printed a discussion on the causes of cheating. Mark Bauerlein, a professor at Emory University, argued cheating “is a survival skill” for students in a high-pressure environment. Andrew Daines, a graduate of Cornell, argued students need ethics classes to provide a “philosophical grounding for goodness, honesty, and integrity.” While author Alfie Kohn claimed the problem is with classroom methods and the definition of cheating, saying, “By definition, cheating is a violation of the rules. Are those rules reasonable? Who devised them and who benefits from them?”

Ironically, no one is blaming the students or teachers who actually cheated.

When it comes to our sins we’re sure someone is ultimately to blame and we’re also pretty sure it isn’t us. The Bible acknowledges that our sins, such as cheating, can result from the actions of others. Jesus says in Mark 9:42, “Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him if a great millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea.” Others may be partly to blame for the sins we commit.

Yet, the Bible never absolves the sinner simply because others may be involved. James 4:17 says, “So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.” Yes, the pressure of succeeding makes cheating more appealing. Yes, new technologies make cheating easier. Yes, the failure of others to maintain high standards makes it easier to lower one’s own. Yes, the education system may not be meeting students’ needs. But it all comes down to the moment when a student decides to obtain and use illicit information to violate their integrity, beat the test, and receive ill-gotten rewards. They make the decision. They are ultimately to blame.

Why do it? Because they believe it doesn’t matter. Culture has taught them right and wrong are simply constructed by societies and individuals to suit their own ends. They don’t flow from the character of God. Thus, as long as they believe they’re not hurting anyone, there is nothing to lose. No one is keeping score and the ends justify the means. If they’re planning to be a doctor what will it matter if they cheated on a freshmen English course or a high school Spanish exam? If there is no God to give life a unifying meaning and purpose, they’re free to construct their own meaning and purpose in which right and wrong serve their own selfish desires.

A better question might be: why shouldn’t they cheat? If we are only animated pieces of meat, biological machines programmed by genetics and determined by our environment, spinning on an insignificant rock around a fiery star that will one day explode and wipe our pitiful race from the memory of the universe, there is no good reason not to cheat on a test so we can at least afford a bigger TV to watch sports on.

Students know how not to cheat. Some may unintentionally plagiarize, but no one accidentally downloads a copy of the test on their phone beforehand. They just aren’t sure why they shouldn’t.

If right and wrong are relative concepts, why bother with someone else’s definition of cheating when I’m not hurting anyone?

If I have no greater meaning in my life than what I make of it, why not employ cheating as a means to my personal goals?

Besides, I’m not to blame for my cheating. My brain chemistry made me do it. Or my stressful, high pressure environment full of bad role models.

The students are the ones who decide to cheat and are ultimately to blame for the scandals. Yet the world the culture has constructed for them gives them few reasons not to. As long as there is no God – or at least not one that is any more than a consumer product for our happiness – there is no unifying meaning and purpose to existence. As long as humans are merely products of their chemistry and environment, how can they be expected to behave any differently?  If there is no God to give an account to and no soul of which to give account, he or she who has the most toys in the end truly wins even if they were earned by cheating.

-Brian

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Don’t Hate On the Tiger Mom

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Amy Chua, Yale Law professor and mother of two, published her controversial and highly criticized memoir, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, in 2011. It chronicles her journey of parenting daughters the Chinese way on American soil. Rather than allowing children to become self-indulgent, underachieving drains on society (her perception of Western children), Chinese parenting aims for the child’s highest success in every endeavor at all costs for the glory of the family.  Chapter one opens with bullet points of things Chinese children are never allowed to do, including: attend sleepovers, watch TV, choose their own extracurricular activities or get any grade less than an A.

Since their toddler days, daughters Sophia and Lulu followed rigorous routines to pave their way to elite futures, academically and musically. Instruments dominated non-school, non-homework hours. Chua cashed in some of her pension funds to buy Lulu one of the finest violins in the world. On every vacation, the first order of business was securing the hotel lounge piano for practice. These practices were frequently punctuated with harsh remarks from Chua such as: “If you don’t get this perfect, I am going to burn your stuffed animals!” and “Oh my god, you are just getting worse and worse.” This intensity drove both daughters and Chua to shouting matches, public embarrassment and icy distance. Chua admits that being hated is part of being a Chinese parent but is ultimately worth it.

Did her method succeed? Both daughters are music prodigies, straight-A students and fluent in Mandarin. Such accomplishments might convince any parent of this strategy. One might expect her book to end victoriously with a ten step plan to copy her success. Instead, these five lonely sentences end her story:

“Given that life is so short and so fragile, surely each of us should be trying to get the most out of every breath, every fleeting moment. But what does it mean to live life to its fullest? We all have to die, but which way does that cut? In any case, I’ve just told [my husband] that I want to get another dog.”1

After accomplishing world-class results parenting her daughters, Chua is left pondering what it means to fully live in light of life’s certain end. Sure, her daughters have every success any parent could hope for, but in the quiet corners of her mind she is left wanting.

It’s easy to criticize her. We American Christian parents would never demand so much from our kids in such demeaning ways. We also want the best for our children but express it differently. Rather than berate them, we praise them endlessly. Instead of hyper-scheduling their days and months, we let them decide what they want to do and divide up taxiing duties with neighborhood moms. When it’s time to prepare for tests, think about college, compete or behave, we make deals and offer incentives (video games or cars), hoping for the best outcome. Children might forgo family dinners, church activities and even homework along the way; as long as they are well-behaved, moderately successful, attend church on occasion and are above all happy, we’ve done a good job – right? If so, why does parenting leave many Christians asking the same questions as Chua?

Both parenting strategies are problematic and lacking. One idolizes the family’s success; the other idolizes the child’s individual success. Neither strategy employs life-giving methods for God-glorifying ends. Neither strategy points parent nor child to Christ.

Because purpose and identity are found in Jesus, Christians do not have to subscribe to the world’s parenting methods. Tedd Tripp observes:

“You want your child to live for the glory of God. You want your child to realize that life worth living is life lived under the Lordship of Jesus Christ. Your methods must show submission to the same Lord.”2 (emphasis mine)

It should not surprise us that “good church kids” grow up with similar habits, goals, worldviews and issues as non-church goers. God is often an add-on in Christian households rather than the focal point. While most Christian parents would affirm the quote above, their practices oppose it. Jaws drop at Amy Chua’s behavior, but are children served any better when they are affirmed as privileged, moral centers of their own universe?

Scripture consistently teaches that only God can quench the thirst of every soul, parents and children included. The Psalmist declares, “In your presence there is fullness of joy; in your right hand are pleasures forevermore (16:11).” In John 10:10 Jesus said, “I have come that they may have life and have it abundantly.” All satisfaction, joy and purpose are found in Him, not in raising phenomenal kids or being phenomenal kids. As parents, we are responsible for organizing the lives of our children to reflect the gospel as the center of life. To do anything else teaches them the world’s offerings are better than our Savior.

Academic prestige and financial success are deceitful dreams to pass on, as are high self-esteem and extracurricular happiness. When Jesus is the goal of parenting, we are free not to demand our children bring home good grades; we are free to say no when they covet the newest, most expensive clothes. If children misbehave in public or lose another competition, we are not devastated. When they come home crying because they’ve been bullied, there is no retaliation or pumping them up about how great they are.  When a friend’s child is smarter, more popular and better looking, we thank God for the eternal, not temporal, work He is accomplishing in our children for the kingdom. God’s word is robust enough for the task and more satisfying than the world’s answer to child-rearing.

Short cuts don’t exist in raising children who worship Jesus with the whole of their being. This counter-cultural approach to parenting will cost enormous amounts of time, peer approval, affection from your children and many tears. The pay-off is a home structured around the worship of an eternal King, turning out generations who live for Him and not worldly success.

The violin and good grades will get a child far, but will they satisfy? Birthday parties and good manners are fine things, but can they sustain faith in Christ?  As Chua observes, we all die…will getting another dog fill the void until that day and in the days that follow?

-Emily

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  1. Chua, Amy. Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, pg. 229.
  2. Tripp, Tedd. Shepherding a Child’s Heart, pg. 71.

Stay-At-Home Daughterhood: Optional or Biblical?

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Celebrate the New Year by reviewing our top 5 posts from 2011! Coming in at number 3 for the year was an article that wrestled with the concept of stay-at-home daughterhood:

Until recently, I was convinced of my complete awareness about every concept surrounding biblical womanhood. In a desire to continue my studies and further prepare for my exciting role as a new mommy, I ordered the book “Joyfully At Home” by Jasmine Baucham. Familiar with Pastor Voddie Baucham, I assumed the book to be his wife’s. Having benefitted from his teaching, I expected to benefit from hers also. Turns out, it’s his 20 year-old daughter’s book on stay-at-home daughterhood. I discovered this a few pages in and was too curious and committed (especially after paying the shipping cost) to stop reading.

Stay-at-home daughterhood is a new idea for most. It rejects the expectation of girls leaving for college after high school. It embraces staying at home until marriage for a season of parental training and discipleship in preparation for future roles plus full-time contribution to the needs of the immediate family. College isn’t completely ruled out; Jasmine encourages earning an online degree, but more important is avoiding secular academia and staying home to learn and contribute.

There is much about this work I commend. The reevaluation of cultural norms and life pursuits is a wise step, especially for young women. The much needed focus on fashioning the home according to God’s word is boldly presented in a genuine tone. I believe the author is a good example for her peers.

My goal here is not to review and critique the book itself, but to engage with the premise on which it is based: the immediate family is superior to all other efforts and callings.  In this book, it is given an attention and emphasis not found in Scripture. Stay-at-home daughterhood flows from this viewpoint: “Young men and women seeking advice on how they can serve the Lord often pepper me with questions…they never expect the answer that I inevitably give…’If you are serious about serving the Lord, get married, pray that he gives you a house full of children and bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (pg. 115).’”

Jesus did not agree. While the texts on familial roles and the importance of marriage and raising children are just as inerrant and inspired as any, they do not exclude nor eclipse the rest of the Bible. Jesus was very clear throughout the Gospels about the connection of family relationships to His mission:

  • “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.” – Luke 14:26
  • “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” Matthew 10:37
  • “But he replied to the man who told him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers!” Matthew 12:47-49
  • “Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life.” – Mark 10:28-30
  • “To another he said, “Follow me.” But he said, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.” And Jesus said to him, “Leave the dead to bury their own dead. But as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” Yet another said, “I will follow you, Lord, but let me first say farewell to those at my home.” Jesus said to him, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.” – Luke 9:59-62

Obviously these texts have a context, but Jesus meant what He said. He was frequently confronted with familial idolatry as He recruited disciples and taught on hillsides. Never once did He encourage someone to devote the best and most of their time and attentions to the family unit. He explained to the Sadducees that the family unit is not eternal (Matthew 22:29-31). Yet, His teaching is not incongruent with texts emphasizing the spiritual importance of and roles within the family. Teaching about family is part of Scripture, not its grand subject. Jasmine reminds readers that “the Great Commission isn’t the only passage in the Bible (pg. 186).” However, Matthew 28:18-20 contains Jesus’ final words to those disciples who would carry out His kingdom work. If her view of family was shared by Jesus, as He ascended to heaven and charged the faithful one last time, He would have said, “Go ye therefore and get married, having lots of children and focusing primarily on your own household,” but He didn’t.

Jasmine appeals to Paul’s Epistles in building her theology for stay-at-home daughterhood (with other texts such as Exodus 22, Numbers 30, Deuteronomy 6 & 22 and Proverbs 31). She states: “…I understand that the college campus is neither the only nor the best place for ministry to take place. If it were, the Apostle Paul would have spent less time encouraging Christians to devote themselves to building solid family units…and more time encouraging them to go out and be educated among the Romans.” One problem with this observation is Paul himself never married. Arguably the greatest missionary and servant of Christ we know of did not see procuring a family unit as the best way to serve His Savior. Another problem is that Paul didn’t really spend that much time writing about families. He spent more time engaging skeptics and intellectuals with the gospel message (Acts 17 &18). On one such occasion, however, he wrote this:

  • “I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband.” 1 Corinthians 7:32-34

The author makes it clear she is not mandating this practice for every young woman: “…living at home after graduation should be a decision that we can trace back to guiding principles in God’s Word (pg. 140).” I found myself having to perform some pretty clever Scriptural gymnastics to link her cited texts to her reasons for staying home. She confidently rests all her book’s content on this assertion: “I can see no pattern in Scripture for a young woman to pack up and head cross-country to be discipled outside of the framework of the church and home (pg. 142).” This statement accomplishes nothing for her case. Because of travel constraints, underdeveloped nations, lack of education and widespread illiteracy in first century Palestine, we would no more expect a pattern for a girl going off to college in Scripture anymore than we would a pattern of space exploration. Aside from this claim, her case is founded on experience and opinion, cushioned by some cherry-picked Bible verses. By applying her hermeneutic, one could easily argue that all Christians are called to overseas missions. I do not think a biblical case is made for or against either stay-at-home daughterhood or girls going off to college.

I do admire her convictions. To see such a young girl making a culturally radical choice for God’s glory is refreshing. I am not necessarily disagreeing with stay-at-home daughterhood; I’m disagreeing with the elevation of family above all else. This serves as an example of what happens when we “go beyond what is written” (1 Cor. 4:6), extrapolating from the Scriptures, filling in the gaps with personal experience and elevating our conclusion as biblical.

A family can pursue a Christ-centered home with a vision of “multi-generational faithfulness” and not flirt with family idolatry. I agree with her: the neglect of the family unit in and outside the Christian world is shameful, but to lift it above all other biblical teaching is irresponsible. A young woman leaving home for anything other than a husband is not antagonistic to the Bible. There’s no reason the kind of preparation Jasmine speaks of cannot take place prior to college. I am a very blessed stay-at-home wife with a baby on the way. No other task has given me greater joy. However, a day is coming when my wife and mommy duties will cease and I will function as part of a larger, heavenly family. That is the family I must ultimately work in view of.

-Emily

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The Difficulty of Forgiveness: Even Him?

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Convicted serial killer David Berkowitz, known as the “Son of Sam”, recently declared he has no desire to petition for parole this coming May. After being denied five times, he is serving six sentences of 25 years to life for the murders of six New York City residents from 1976 to 1977. In a letter to the media, he wrote: “If you could understand this, I am already a ‘free man.’ I am not saying this jokingly. I really am. Jesus Christ has already forgiven and pardoned me, and I believe this.”

A spokesperson for the New York State Division of Parole describes Berkowitz as a model inmate. He is a mobility guide for blind inmates, assists with the mentally challenged and contributes to Sunday services and Bible studies. Of his work, Berkowitz said, “My main activities are sharing my story of redemption and hope with those on the outside.”

The church and the public are sometimes skeptical and critical of killers like Berkowitz being forgiven by God because forgiveness is defined and exercised on our terms. For some, it’s just an optional response. Maybe the offender isn’t sorry, maybe her offense was too detestable and maybe you just aren’t ready to forgive. If one chooses not to forgive, that’s their prerogative, but if so, it might be conditional: “I forgive you if you promise this” or “This is the last time I will forgive you for this.” Further, it’s acceptable to bring up the offense when convenient: “Remember when you did that awful thing and I forgave you?” This brand of forgiveness is a hopeless guessing game that brings no peace or resolve. The Bible presents forgiveness in a very different light. It is modeled after the forgiveness of God toward sinners. Christian forgiveness is commanded, immediate, free and final.

Several passages in Scripture command forgiveness: Matthew 6:12, Mark 11:25 and Luke 6:37 each direct the believer to forgive. Because of our sinful nature, we don’t want to. We want to withhold grace and exact justice in our own, vengeful way. Since forgiveness isn’t deserved, it shouldn’t be given. The Bible never excuses a Christian from forgiving someone. The consistent practice of forgiveness is a mark of a true disciple. Paul wrote: “…as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive (Col. 3:13).”

Forgiveness is also immediate. The text does not say, “When you are ready, and when enough time has passed, and when you think the other person deserves it, go ahead and forgive them.” There is no provision for waiting. Time cannot heal by itself; only in forgiving through the power of the Holy Spirit can wounds be completely healed. Hebrews 12:15 warns against “roots of bitterness” in the hearts of Christians. Withholding forgiveness does not testify to the gospel of Christ and prevents Christians from worshiping rightly.  Jesus warned disciples:

“So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. 25 Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison.” Matthew 5:23-26

Forgiveness must also be free, which means it is given unconditionally and not contingent upon the debtor or the offense. Matthew 18 holds the famous parable of the unforgiving servant. His king forgave his debt worth more than 2,000 lifetimes of wages. After receiving this unimaginable pardon, he threatened a fellow servant with imprisonment if the three months’ wages owed to him were not paid. When the king discovered this, the previously forgiven servant was imprisoned until he could repay his debt. Jesus told this parable when He was asked how many times forgiveness should be offered. Jesus’ answer was seventy times seven, meaning there are no limits to the extent of our forgiveness. The disciples he was speaking to were seeking limits, treating forgiveness like the repayment of a debt. Jesus modeled for us a better way on the cross when he said…, “Father, forgive them. They know not what they do (Luke 23:34).” He pled for the forgiveness of unrepentant people who didn’t request it nor knew they needed it.

True forgiveness is final; you never bring the incident up to yourself, the debtor or anyone else. It’s not that you forget it, but you choose not to remember. Psalm 103 provides a beautiful picture of God’s forgiveness towards us:

“He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us (vs. 10-12).”

Unearthing the offense means forgiveness has not happened. Paul said in 1 Corinthians 13:5 that love keeps no record of wrongs. To truly forgive is to wipe away every residue of the debt and move forward.

We too quickly forget that Jesus purchased this forgiveness on the cross. In Berkowitz’s case, God did not sweep his sin under the rug. He took it so seriously that He sent His Son to die for it; justice has come for those murders through Christ. For those who do not repent and believe in Jesus, their justice will come on judgment day. Either way, God is the Justifier (Romans 12:19). Because of this, we are free to forgive and leave vengeance to the Lord.

Does forgiving mean the relationship must return exactly as it was? No. Do we repeatedly position ourselves to be hurt by the same individual? No. We obey God to the extent Scripture has called us to. Every relationship will look differently after forgiveness for an offense.

When a man like David Berkowitz champions the forgiveness of God, our first reaction might not be joy or thankfulness. Christians must remember we too have been forgiven just as great a debt and now have the chance to offer everyone in our lives the very same grace, all for the glory of God and redemption of the lost.

-Emily

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Let Go of Your Dreams: Reflections from Africa

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While in Port Shepstone, South Africa I came across a book by Joel Osteen, pastor of the largest church in America titled: It’s Your Time: Activate Your Faith, Achieve Your Dreams, and Increase in God’s Favor. In the first chapter, he writes:

God promises your payday is on its way. If you’ll learn to be a prisoner of hope and get up every day expecting God’s favor, you’ll see God do amazing things. You’ll overcome every obstacle. You’ll defeat every enemy. And I believe and declare you’ll see every dream, every promise God has put in your heart, come to pass.

While many can spot the flaws in Osteen’s message, I think he captures a hidden conviction of American Christianity – God is all about us and our dreams.

Those of us in the United States have more resources, more opportunities, and more encouragement to achieve our dreams than almost anyone else in the world. “Achieve your dreams” is preached to us from the television, the classroom, the magazine rack, the sports field, the internet, the family, and even the church. We watch people achieve their dreams every night on Sportscenter, American Idol, the Biggest Loser, or America’s Got Talent. Updated every second on Facebook we watch everyone we’ve known in life succeed at achieving marriage, children, jobs, promotions, awards, vacations, bigger homes, newer vehicles, and smarter phones. We achieve pieces of our dreams as we graduate from school, buy that thing we always wanted, and find relationships that satisfy us.

Everything we see and our own desires tell us life is about achieving our dreams. We see those around us achieve their dreams, feel the potential within us to do the same, and experience frustration and even depression when we don’t.

Many of us wouldn’t articulate it as boldly as Osteen does in It’s Your Time, but when we subtly accept the idea that life is about our dreams we come to believe it is God’s job to help us achieve them. Successful people will buy the book and work hard to earn their dreams from God. They are convinced they have what it takes and that God will respond by giving them what they desire. Struggling people will become frustrated and even angry with God because He is impossible to please and seems to be withholding their dreams from them. Whether we are working to earn our dreams from God or are frustrated with Him because our dreams have failed, we are believing in a small, imaginary god.

The idea of God existing to help us achieve our dreams seemed incredibly empty to me as I browsed through that book in South Africa. While in Africa, I had the opportunity to preach the gospel in one of the schools. According to the missionary we worked with, the unemployment rate in the area was about 70% and the HIV infection rate was around 50%. As I looked out over the 930 students who had walked miles to attend school that morning, I realized most of them would never come close to achieving their dreams. While many of them studied, worked hard and were very intelligent and talented the best their reality could offer was to be one of the few with any job and to not die before the age of 45 with AIDS. Believing in a god who was about them achieving their dreams would be about as useful as belief in the Easter bunny.

The true God is not about us and our dreams, but about Himself and His glory. God does what He wants and accomplishes His purposes, not ours. Psalm 115:3 says, “Our God is in the heavens; He does all that He pleases.” In John 17:4 Jesus prays, “I glorified You on earth, having accomplished the work You gave me to do.” The goal of Jesus’ life was the glory of God which should be the dream of our life as well (1 Cor. 10:31). Jesus said even His death, while beneficial to sinners, was ultimately for the glory of God in John 12:27-28, “For this purpose I have come to this hour. Father, glorify Your name.” Our lives should result in glory for God, not in dreams achieved for ourselves, as seen in Matthew 5:16, “Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father.”

This is a God worth believing in. He is not pacing heaven desperately trying to give his children all of their dreams in a broken world. He is confidently ruling and guiding all of history for the display of His glory. He is not an idolater, exalting His human creation above Himself. Instead He loves us enough to exalt Himself above us so we might hope in Him. What those students at the school in rural Africa needed wasn’t the promise of a god who was going to give them a payday and make all of their dreams come to pass. That god would have sounded good in a sermon but would have failed them. We need the God who came to earth and died for us so our lives and all of history, good and bad, may point to Him and His glory.

Is it wrong to have dreams? No! It is wrong to let them control your life, your attitude, and your view of God. Are you blessed with the achievement of your dreams? Hold onto them loosely and hold onto the glorious God of the Bible tightly. Dreams may fade, but His glory and His endless love for you remain.

Are you frustrated by unrealized dreams? Have you remained single longer than you hoped? Did the children fail to turn out the way they were supposed to? Are you stuck in a miserable, dead end job? Are you struggling to make ends meet instead of flourishing? Are you tired of watching peers succeed while you remain mediocre? Then let go of your dreams and live for the glory of God. We are not promised we will achieve our dreams and most of humanity, like those students in Africa, will never have the luxury of dreaming.  Let’s stop worrying about our small, insignificant dreams and embrace the God whose love for us goes beyond our failures and whose glory endures forever.

-Brian